31 October 2010

Trick or Treat!

Team Hildebrand had a fairly productive week.  I only had one day where I just felt like vegging out on the couch and not unpacking while Lily napped, and overall, the unpacking is going very well.  Tuesday, we signed Jesse up for fencing classes at the Y (which he is ecstatic about).  Thursday, Lily and I had our first play date with one of the ladies from our small group and her 2 year old and baby girl who is exactly one month older than Lily is.  We had a lot of fun, and it was really good and refreshing to get out of the house during the day and be able to have some girl time over coffee.

Last night, we all (including Dog) went over to Betsy's for our weekly "family dinner" with her, her kids and Julia.  As per usual, we had a blast and ate way too much food.  After dinner, we all (minus Betsy) donned some wonderful costumes for Trick or Treating.  Lily decided that it was time to be fussy around this time, so Jesse and Julia took the kids up and down the street for candy while Betsy and I stayed at her house.  I've heard everyone talk about the best costumes of the year, but really, her kids won.  Hands down.  And extra points go to them because they were handmade with love. 
Ewok, Luke and Leia
Not as creative, but a pirate, angel and Batgirl

pumpkin Jesse carved
pumpkin I carved

That's about it for now..Last night was the second night of Lily sleeping in her own crib and not in our room.  Awesome like her parents, she did great, sleeping a stretch of 6 hours!!  Admittedly, the first night didn't go as well- but I'm sure that had to do with the change in scenery and a super paranoid momma, who felt the need to check on her every time she squeaked (new mom's should really be graced with the new dad's ability to sleep through anything and ignore all nighttime noises).  Tuesday, Lily has her "6" week check-up.  I'm very curious to see how much she weighs now, because looking at pictures and really paying attention, I have noticed she is getting so big!  Already!  I know this is probably every mother's reaction- I am therefore justified and no one may judge me.  Also on Tuesday, Jesse gets to start his fencing class, which he is super excited about.  We were both originally going to be taking these classes, but with a newborn, we figured it'd be easier for me to jump off the treadmill or leave an aerobics class to get her from the babysitting than it would be to leave in the middle of a fencing class.  So another time for me.

26 October 2010

Happy 4 Years!!

Four years ago today, Jesse had successfully received permission from my parents for the two of us to start dating, and had asked me to be his girlfriend.  It doesn't seem like very long when I look at the number, but really, it seems like so much longer because of all the adventures and things we've been on and through together.

I think part of the reason Jesse was nervous to ask my parents if we could date and then to ask me out is because he knew my stance on dating: I didn't see it as something to do "just for fun," but rather a time to get to know each other and each others families with the future goal of marriage.  Jesse understood this to mean that if he asked me out, he better marry me or else.  Not quite the case, but it got the right idea in his mind I guess, I like how things turned out, so okay :)

In the 4 years that we've "officially" been together ("official" meaning we put a label on our relationship),  we got engaged and then married (obviously); moved 4 times; been to 17 (I think?  #18 is coming next summer) states together; flown thousands of miles across the country and back; got a dog, had countless numbers of fish (and at one point, had 4 fish tanks set up in our one bedroom apartment..dumb); and most recently, had a baby :) and a whole ton of other stuff..

New Years Eve '05/'06, Times Square, NY
Jr/Sr Banquet, MVNU '07

Wedding day! 12/29/07
Random AZ hiking, '08

Ridiculous '09

New Years '09/'10, Philadelphia, PA

We've been busy and learned a lot :) I'm looking forward to the adventures we have in store..especially the new one of learning how to be parents.  Speaking of being parents..

Lily did NOT enjoy this..but she sure is cute anyway :) Thanks for the pictures, Betsy.  

That's it for now!  Back to the unpacking.. *groan*

23 October 2010


Lily will be one month old tomorrow.  ugh.  Already?!?!  Even beyond the fact that she is already 4 weeks old, this past month has seriously flown bye.  Where did it go?  When will it slow down?  I mean, really..this is ridiculous!  I was trying to think about how just about a month ago, I was still pregnant and eagerly anticipating Lily's arrival.  And now she's here, and we so completely love her that it has hindered my memory of what life was like before she was born..and that's ok. 
October is already more then (than?  sorry, Mom, I can't remember..I think "then" is right?) halfway over.  On the 19th, Jesse "celebrated" his one year mark of working on this contract at the FBI center in WV.  Which means that October 12 was the date we left AZ.  Life sure changes fast, doesn't it?  A year ago today I was..again..unpacking a house haha I seem to do that a lot.  And, the first weekend in October, Jesse, Zeke and I took our first "family" trip and went camping at the Grand Canyon (and all three about turned into Popsicles on that adventure).  The 26th of this month will also mark Jesse and my 4th of year of being "officially" together-- only 4 years, but it seems so much longer (and in a good way).    

I'm clearly in a mood to reminisce..but a lot happened within this past year, and October is a big month for changing for Jesse and me apparently. 

Lily had her first bottle last night!
We introduced a bottle maybe a little early, but we're not planning on using it terribly often at this point..but she needs to get used to it for when we head to Findlay in a few weekends for Nikki and Rick's wedding and she stays with Grandma and Grandpa Pagano.  She took it like a champ (for a first time), and drank a whole ounce :) Jesse enjoyed feeding her, because he had recently mentioned he was kind of jealous of how much bonding time I got with her since I always got to be the one nursing her.  So, I think the daddy-daughter time will stick around and become a routine.  
ps- I'm really excited to go to Findlay in a few weeks!  Can't wait to show Lily my hometown (ok, really just George House..and Dietsch's) and for her to meet two of her great-grandparents! 

21 October 2010

same old people, new address

Well, life continues to be exciting, and we continue to live by the Team Hildebrand motto of "go big or go home" which is always an adventure.  In this case, we moved last weekend..3 weeks after Lily graced us with her presence.  In all honesty, moving with a newborn is THE worst idea ever.  Do not EVER do this because it is just stupid.  Fortunately for me, when I turn into a panicky, stressed out mess, Jesse is very calm and helps me see that it's not the end of the world.  Additionally, we have great families who all pitched in (in one way or another..yes, you too, Matt and Erin [through texting encouragement/support]) to get us from A to B.  Jesse's parents came down last weekend to do the big push, and between the three of them, we got everything to the new house and the old house looking spic and span (thanks Mom H).  While I was busy stressing out, they worked hard to get the job done, and I'm very grateful for all the hard work!  Lily and I cut the grass at the new house while they were moving/cleaning, and then she continued to ride around in a front pack as I tried to organize and unpack the new home, which looked like the aftermath of a bomb explosion.

Unpacking is..going.  Slowly but surely.  Again, let me stress how dumb of an idea it is to move with a newborn.  You get maybe a box unpacked before she wakes up and needs you for the next hour.  Then, she dozes off and you cross your fingers that she'll sleep long enough for you to unpack another box.  Oh, add in a needy/hyperactive Boxer and you have yourself a real party.  Ok, enough complaining..really, it is going pretty well :) I'll post pictures of what the house looks like when it's all unpacked (probably in a few months..don't be expecting them sooner).

The old house did manage to give me one last parting gift..poison ivy.  Again.  From the dumb bushes out front.  Jesse went and trimmed the bushes about two weeks ago and apparently got it on him (to be expected), but then passed the wonderful poison ivy oils onto me before getting them all washed off.  So yes, I am apparently ultra allergic to poison ivy and have it (once again) on my arms, stomach and leg, because apparently once it's on me a little bit, it gets everywhere.  Wonderful.

Lily and I are also slowly but surely coming up with a daily routine of sorts.  I have been eagerly waiting for us to develop one, and at least the mornings and evenings are working themselves into a pattern.  The middle of the day is up in the air, but considering I'm trying to organize a house while Jesse's at work, this isn't a surprise.  Oh, and sidenote, Jesse and I have only held serious discussions about getting rid of Dog once (so far..) and I've only thought about opening the door and letting what might happen, happen, a handful of times.  But, I did manage to take myself to a dentist appointment..the receptionists were very helpful and obviously were up for keeping an eye on Lily while I got my teeth cleaned (another area to avoid if possible: ALWAYS have a buddy to help out if you can when you have appointments!).  She and I are learning lots right now, but we're surviving and I haven't had any huge melt downs yet :) we are also starting a list of things we'd like to be different whenever the next one comes.

Anyway, Uncle Joel and Aunt Kimmy came to visit!  I really appreciated their help..Joel helped move things and unpack and Kimmy provided me a nice break by holding Lily so I could unpack TWO boxes instead of one in between feedings.  It was really great to see them and have some extra help with some odds and ends.
See that petrified look on Joel's face?  That's real.  He was quite terrified of breaking Lily, but that will go away with practice ;) and hearing Jesse explain the whole labor/delivery to them was kind of entertaining also.  I think he has officially made Joel glad that he is male and won't ever have to go through delivery..and I didn't quite get Kimmy's take on it, but I believe she was amused by Joel's reaction.

And now..I am going to finish my ice cream and go to bed :) hopefully I'll be back updating again soon!

12 October 2010

Lily didn't sleep well last night..therefore, I didn't sleep well last night.  It's amazing how someone who weighs less than 10 lbs can determine whether or not I sleep.  But, let's be honest, during pregnancy when she was only ounces, she was determining whether or not I felt like doing anything or had any energy.  Ridiculous and amazing at the same time. 

Anyway..because she and I were both restless and have the ability to take naps during the day, we moved to the couch reeeeeeeeeeally early this morning so Jesse (who can't nap during the day..or it's at least frowned upon at his job) could sleep.  We had a good cuddle as a result, but it didn't really do too much for the headache I woke up with at 3am.  So this was obviously a good start to my day..which the dog made better.  When I was getting myself put together for the day (at 9:30..), Zeke saw this as a golden opportunity to knock over a trash can and strew the contents all over the living room floor.  gr.  So I cleaned this up and proceeded to finish getting myself ready for the come back downstairs and see Zeke has now found a poopy diaper to shred on my living room floor.  Double gr.  At this point, I grabbed the baby, the dog and a diaper bag and stormed out of the house to McD's for an iced coffee before heading to the dog park to run my dog into the ground so he'd sleep the rest of the day (which was a success). 

[end vent] I was in a much better mood when I returned home.  Lily rode around in a front pack and napped while I did things around the house and tried to be somewhat productive.  I didn't try too hard, but I did get some things packed up for our move and some other things (aka the living room floor) cleaned up.  And today, Lily found her thumb.  It was the most adorable thing ever..I was burping her and all of a sudden I heard a sucking sound which confused me until I looked and saw her tiny little thumb in her mouth.  Not only does she pick up her head (and has been since the day she was born and is just getting stronger), roll onto her side (making the diaper changing a challenge), scootch forward on her tummy (by pushing her feet against her daddy's hand..I kid you not.  Ridiculous!), but she has now also apparently found her thumb.  She's not even 2.5 weeks!!!!  Someone please explain to her that she needs to slow down..I don't need her walking by 5 months!  (even if all of this is normal, please just roll with it and accept that I'm new to this and think my baby girl is growing up too fast already)

Other than all that excitement..everything is going really well.  I'm staying positive and am able to remember that I really WANT to be nursing Lily every 1.5-2 hours when she gets hungry and that I don't want to use thus far I have been able to avoid frustrations.  Which is handy. 

And..HOPEFULLY Jesse and I will be able to wrap up this whole moving process within the next week or so, and I'll be able to unpack and settle into the other house.  Uncle Joel and Aunt Kimmy are coming to visit this weekend and going to be put to work!  Aunt Jess was here over the weekend and got some good cuddling in with Lily..
That's about it..I've been wanting to post for a few days, but really have nothing exciting to report.  Not that I'm sure what to report, so you may just get random ramblings from time to time :)

07 October 2010

bit o' change..

As was pointed out to me by the fabulous Kimmy, my blog title was no longer accurate and required a change.  And since I was changing titles and things, I felt it was time for a new picture.  This is the best we have so far..all attempts with the dog portion of our family were pretty pathetic, so we'll work on that and maybe get a different picture up at some point.  And, hey, while I'm at it, maybe I'll change the background and some other fancy options and give my blog a complete face lift..or maybe not.

My parents stay has been great fun :) they helped relieve a ton of stress with the whole moving thing and were super helpful with cleaning and moving boxes and things from House A to House B.  Unfortunately, they have to leave tomorrow.  Grandpa Pagano DID have a chance to share his favorite joke with Lily..and I had to tell her that they all go downhill from there [what did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River?  "Men, get in the boat!"  har har har].  BUT, Lily's aunt Jessica will be arriving tomorrow, so the fun party continues.  Then, Uncle Joel and Aunt Kimmy will be coming to meet our little girl (and help us unpack!) in a few weeks when they're on their fall break (it's on my blog, it's official: you crazies are coming!). between, hopefully I will be able to settle into this routine of being a mom and maybe, maybe unpack some and settle into a new house.  We'll see about both of those..

Didn't really have too much to report at this point..Mom, Lily and I got to Skype with my wonderful Findlay grandparents this evening for a few minutes before Lily woke up and demanded food, and hopefully we'll be able to do that again soon and have a longer conversation!  I'm looking forward to heading to Findlay in a few weeks for a wedding that I'm in (yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay NIKKI AND RICK!!! <3).  But..beyond that, I'm kind of hoping to just hang out in good ol' Clarksburg for the weeks to come and just settle into the house (I will post pictures when we're organized..if I ever get there) and everything.

And...well.  I'm tired and gonna head to bed!  I just wanted to update my blog so it was accurate and felt I should post while I was at it, even though I didn't have anything to say.

So the end.

05 October 2010

I don't know what to call these now that I'm not counting to 40 weeks

Pardon the awkward title, but it's true.  But now that it's out of my system, I will try my best to come up with creative/exciting/pertinent titles for my posts. 

What can I tell you..learning how to be a parent is definitely a "sink or swim" situation  The learning curve is forgiving, but you certainly get tossed into it pretty quick without much time for practice!  And by "much time," I really mean "no time."  Fortunately, babies are pretty forgiving as long as you keep them cleaned, diapered and burped.

Jesse and I are doing pretty well I think.  My biggest stress has been about the whole moving thing and that dog of ours.  He's handled her like a champ, always ready to lick her face or tear apart a diaper, but it's just his boundless energy that stresses me out.  I haven't been able to take him on his long walks or to the doggy park to play, so it's been a little rough trying to keep him entertained and convince him to sleep all day (which would really be ideal, but sadly, we have a young puppy and not an old man).  The first week was a bit of a stress for me, just because I was super paranoid about being a good mom.  Jesse and Joel have both informed me that if crack addicts can be parents, I can certainly be a good parent.  That and all the ice cream that is in the house really helped.  And we have so much ice cream because during the pushing part of delivery, when Betsy and Jesse were trying to help with encouraging "just think of what you're doing this for!" and my response was "ice cream," Jesse felt that he definitely needed to have some in the house for me (such a good guy).

So far in our parenting endeavors, I've had a booger wiped on me; a doctors appointment that went really well; and Jesse got pooped on, which caused me endless entertainment.  Other than that..Lily is a sleeping champ (thank you, daughter) and nursing is going really well.

Currently, my parents are visiting and doing a fabulous job of snuggling with Lily and helping Jesse and me move.

And moving is going really well..and by that I mean we've actually made progress today!  So that makes me feel a toooooooooooon better.  I've been feeling great, so I must have regained my healing powers that I had lost during pregnancy, which makes everything so much better.  And also..since everyone agrees that she looks like Jesse..

She kinda looks like me now..(I'm the top picture, Jesse is the bottom)

02 October 2010

The Momma's Perspective

Alright, my turn!  I asked Jesse to share his thoughts and then realized that I wanted to share my side of the story.  I don't really know what I'm going to say at this point, but I will try and not go into TOO much detail..but if I do, you are more than welcome to just close my blog window and never open it again  It's my blog and I want to talk about the miracle God gave the world through childbirth, so I will :)

We ended up going to the hospital around 2am Thursday morning.  While my contractions were (in my opinion) decently strong and close together, the longer we were there, the farther apart they came.  The midwife (Lisa at the time) suggested we just go home around noon to try and get some sleep, as I was only at 4 cm and hadn't been progressing.  This was really disheartening for me..I know it's common for labor to come and then stall, or for the contractions to come and then no progression for a few days or even a week, but I never thought I would be one of those cases.  I assumed (wrongly) that I would walk in, be in labor for awhile, have a baby and that'd be it.  Not so, apparently.

So we left for home and slept (some in my case, lots in Jesse's).  I don't remember doing too much, but the contractions had pretty much stopped by dinner time.  We went back to Betsy's that evening, went on a walk, chatted about labor and the possibility of when she'd come, then went home to try and sleep since we'd all been up all night.  I laid down around 9, and promptly fell asleep (anyone surprised?).  At 10, I woke up with a start, rolled off the couch where I'd been sleeping; in my half-awake state yelled out a word that is NOT in my normal vocabulary (oops!!) and then "I think my water just broke!" which Jesse confirmed, and very calmly helped me gather up some odds and ends and get me to the car.  Somewhere on the 40 minute drive to the hospital, my contractions started again, and this time, there was no denying they were the real deal.

We got to the hospital, and of course there were no parking spots close, and of course we didn't think about dropping me off until after we'd parked, so yes, we parked and walked into the hospital.  Where nobody was available to help us.  So we hijacked a wheelchair and wandered our way through the maze of hallways to the ER, where people were more than willing to help out.  By the time we got to the hospital room, the contractions felt like they were ridiculously close together.  The nurses got an IV in, and gave me something (not sure what it was, but Betsy okay'd it, so I'm okay with it) that was supposed to slow them down since the contractions were coming on too fast, but ended up stalling them out.  Bummer, but gave me a chance to relax for a bit.

Labor seemed to last foreeeeeeeeeeeever.  Lily's heart rate was high for a good chunk of it, making everyone nervous (okay, except me because I was pretty self-involved and didn't really pay attention to what anyone was saying unless they were specifically talking to me).  They tried a variety of things to stabilize it, like having me stand, lay on my side, an oxygen mask..all of which made the contractions worse, except the oxygen, so I avoided them as much as possible until later on.  I'll tell ya what though, I hated that oxygen mask.  A few times I ripped it off and threw it because I felt I couldn't breathe with it on hah the last few hours I did lay on my side for a bit and hated it because it made the contractions so much worse, but it helped Lily's heart rate, so that's good.  I also soaked in a warm bath for awhile, and that helped some and would highly recommend water for anyone in labor.  Oh, I also should mention that in the first few hours, I DID say that I wanted an epidural because it hurt THAT bad..Betsy didn't hear me and Jesse just ignored me, so I didn't get one.  I don't think I was serious..but it really was no fun.

I don't know times of anything, except when they announced her birth time, but I was at 8 cm and then all of a sudden they were having Betsy and Jesse help me through some contractions by pushing.  Midwife Gail was on call by that point, and she didn't let Jesse take a back seat as an observer, which I am glad about.  Betsy and Gail kept telling me I was doing really well, which I found hard to believe, but really I was only pushing about 30-45 minutes, which I hear is pretty fast compared to some, and definitely compared to those who get epidurals.  Gail and the nurse put up this bar over my bed that had a sheet tied to it, which I found odd, but basically you put your feet on the bar in a frog position, grab the sheet to pull forward during the contractions/pushing.  It helped, but oh man was it uncomfortable.  I got more than one foot cramp, which was the least of my worries, but Jesse helped me out with those.

[ed. note: this is the part where I may cross a line, so feel free to skip this paragraph]
There is apparently a muscle down in the pushing area known as a runner's muscle.  As one might assume, it gets stronger/tighter by running.  Gail worked and worked on this during my pushing/contractions to try and get it to loosen up, but it just wouldn't (Jesse had to tell me all this, I had no idea what was going on, just that whatever she was doing HURT).  Anyway, pushing was going really well (apparently), and they could see her head starting to poke out.  On my last push, her head came out, ripped, and then the rest of her popped out too.  Jesse said Gail told him I ripped because that muscle wouldn't give up and held everything too tight.  Betsy thought that Gail may have seen me start to tear, started pulling and that could have caused me to rip more.  Who knows.  The point is, I'm glad I didn't have to push anymore after that because I don't think I could have.

During the pushing, I had no problem letting people know how I felt, so I feel bad for my neighbors.  There was lots of yelling, grunting, and I'm pretty sure some screams.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and definitely the most pain I've ever been in.  Easily.  All pain is now compared to natural child birth.  It was hard to breathe in the position I was in, it was hard t push through the contractions, it was hard to keep pushing when I wanted to stop but was encouraged to keep going.  I was crying and screaming by the end, but it was all worth it.

After she came out, Gail and the nurses cleared her lungs and put her up on my chest with blankets while they worked on her some more.  She and I were both covered in blood, but it didn't matter.  Those 15 minutes (or however long it was) where I had her on my chest immediately after she was born is something I will always cherish and remember.  I got to cuddle her for awhile before they took her to weigh her and finish getting her cleaned up, then they had to wheel me off to an operating room to stitch me back together.  I guess if the woman has had an epidural they can just sew her up right in the room, but I ripped so badly and had no epidural, so I got my first ever surgery haha they gave me a spinal block so I wouldn't feel anything, and at that point, I knew why other women chose was so heavenly not to feel anything.  I slept the whole time, and was completely out of it when I was awake (you know, since I'd been awake for two nights).  I do remember one of the anesthesiologists (sp?) asking me about my silly bands bracelets and giving me one of hers, but that's about it.

Now that I've written about a book..I will be done for now :) Sorry if that was too much info, but hopefully you will still love me.  I will post pictures and more about how Lily is doing and how we're doing with having a baby later.

Big thanks to Betsy, who was there the whole time and helped us through everything.  Jesse and I woulda been huge messes without you and probably wouldn't have had such an easy (ok, wrong word..but easier than some!) labor delivery without you helping me/both of us through each contraction!  We <3 you!!