28 December 2017

LEK (52)

Me: what is the shape of the face of most clocks?
Emma: what's on most clocks? I don't know, cats?

Kaylee: I can't open this moustache-io.

Emma: how do you tell the difference between a boy horse and a girl horse?
Me: .........................
Kaylee: the girls have long hair.

Lily: it sure would be funny if I was raised by squirrels, wouldn't it?


Jesse, filling me in on football: Miami lost on Thanksgiving, they were 2nd in the country.
Kaylee: what about Emma?
Me: not myEMMA, MiAMI.
Lily: who is Ami?

Lily: I wish we had 15 puppies. Then I could have 5, Emma could have 5, and Kaylee could have 5.
Kaylee: I KNOW, I could have 3, Lily could have 7, and Emma could have 5.
Me, adding it up: HOW DID YOU DO THAT KAYLEE.
Lily: oh, those are our ages, smart, Kaylee.
Me: oh, that makes sense.

Me: Kaylee, please stop following me all over the house. Find something to do that isn't that.
Kaylee: but I don't know WHAT to do.
Me: whatever your little heart desires that isn't following me everywhere.
Kaylee: but that's what my heart desires! Following you around!

Kaylee: can I light the candle on fire?

Emma: I want a foot stool so I can rest my feet.

Lily: when we're teenagers, we can do whatever we want.
Me:, not really.
Lily: well, some stuff. Like listen to music.
(note, we listen to music ALL THE TIME)

Emma: ok, Google, play a funny joke.
Google: what's brown and sticky? A stick!
Emma: NO, it's CHOCOLATE.
Me: well yes, but also a stick, because it's stick-y.
Emma: ...ok, Google got me.

(watching football)
Lily: so whoever shoots the winning point gets their picture taken?

Kaylee: how do you know?
Emma: because I'm old and I'm wise!

Emma: too bad, too sad, don't let the bed bugs bite! Is that how that goes?
Lily: yes.

28 October 2017

are you tired of reading the funny things my kids say? 51

Kaylee: when we were by the tomatoes, we saw a HOLY SMOKES MOMMA tomato.

Emma: Batman caught a Monarch butterfly, but it still had flight power, so I made him let it go and it got away.

the girls and I were in one vehicle, following Jesse in the other.
me: oh, sorry girls, Dad made it through the light and we didn't.
Lily: why didn't you put on super speed?

Lily: why do they call it football if they don't use their feet?

Lily to Emma: you need to do what I say because it says so in the Bible.
(I didn't teach her this)

Kaylee: I just waited a couple whiles and then, poom, turned on.

Lily: are the Phoenix birds real?
me: well, those are something called mythical creatures, like mermaids, unicorns, and the Loch Ness monster. They probably aren't real, but it's fun to imagine they could be real.
Lily: oh yes, it's fun to pretend Santa is real.
Emma: yes, and to pretend Pluto is real!
me: ...well, I mean, Pluto is real. It's not a planet, but it's still out there.
Emma: my Sunday school teacher told me she lived way back in the day when Pluto was a planet!

Lily: I LOVE IT!
Emma: I don't, it's not good for me.
Lily: it's so good!
Emma: well that's ok, we have different taste bugs.

Jesse: what kind of donut do you want?
Emma: oh, I don't know. The kind I wanted last time and had a fit about!

Lily: the very first humans alive were paleontologists, right?

Kaylee: is right here (pointing to her elbow) a bending bone?

Lily: I just think bones are super important.

Emma: Mom, is your brain your squishiest part of your body, or your butt?

Kaylee was watching Beauty and the Beast.
Kaylee: is this Mom's work?
Jesse: what?
Kaylee: well, Mom is pretty like Belle, and you're like the Beast.

06 September 2017

LEK 50

Emma: Diamond wanted the guinea pig toy, so Batman kindly gave it to her, then she didn't want it. So I gave it back to Batman. I thought that was nice.

Me: why?
Lily: well, I pulled her hair. But I was just sitting on it, so that technically isn't pulling it.

Kaylee: Momma, I want the show that starts with an, "m."
Me: ...ok, what's it about?
Kaylee: it has Pongo?
Me: 101 Dalmatians?
Kaylee: YES!

Lily: Emma, if you had one wish in the world, what would it be?
Emma: for a unicorn.

Lily: Momma, blueberry pie is delicious, right? I'm not much of a pie lover, I'm a chocolate cake lover.

Lily: do I need to write the mystery dot?
(a question mark)

Lily: can I have some of that tortilla chip sauce?

Lily: oh, what are those animals with tusk-es like elephants. Not seals, that live in Antarctica?
Me: walruses? I don't know if those are in Antarctica...
Lily: oh, well, one of the Arcticas...

Groot: I am Groot.
Emma: is his name Groot?

Lily: Emma, will you please move your face?

Me: Kaylee, where are your sisters?
Kaylee: playing on the trampoline with a wolf spider.
Me: ...well sure.

20 June 2017

LEK 49

Kaylee: Momma, it'd be a great idea if I went to sleep?
Me: yes, definitely.

(Emma came to me upset and said she needed a way to serve me.  I asked what she meant, and she said they had talked in Sunday School that they should find a way to serve their moms, I assume in a helping way.  She went on to tell me she wanted to serve me):
Emma: I need to serve you, like Mimi does at the Duck Pond.
Me: the Duck Pond?
Lily: she means the Swan House! (which is the local tea house where Mom works)

Emma: well, that just scared me the freaking out!

Kaylee: why was Lily talking a lot?  I couldn't talk because she wouldn't stop talking.

Kaylee: is heaven all the way up in the sky?  Do you have to take a cloud?  Or an airplane?

Me: Kaylee, put Katie (the doll) down so you don't get food on her.
Kaylee: but my hands aren't all foody!

Me: girls, look at this baby hippo!
Emma: we should adopt one!  He could sleep in our bathtub!


Lily: there are more American Girl Dolls out now.  I bet Uncle Joel would like one.


Emma: wow, that was a whole crowd of birds!

Emma: does the bank worker take those things up the tube at night?
Me: yes.
Emma: yeah, because a bad guy could just reach in there and take their pen!
(she was referring to the canister in the drive through line of the bank)

Lily: I wish my birthday was the same day as Addy's, then we'd be Twinsie Friends.

After making and serving chicken parmesan for dinner,
Lily: I don't like it. The only thing I taste that's familiar is burnt.

27 April 2017

LEK are hilarious 48

Emma, passing napkins out at dinner: how about the napkins join our feast?

Emma: I need a Barbie chair!
Lily: there's another stool in the Barbie house..
Emma: I'll get it! What's it look like?
Lily: it' short, like this, shaped like a square..
Emma: no no, just tell me what color it is.
Lily: pink.
(Emma runs off)
Lily: WAIT! It's like a medium pink.
[note: this is how Jesse and I also give directions]


Emma: I'm burning like a hot dog.

[I wrote myself a note about a conversation the girls and I had, but was not descriptive enough to remember the specifics of it. Fail. However, I do remember that Emma was sharing with us something from Hercules, and referred to Pegasus as, "Pegahorse." And that was really the important part.]

Kaylee (singing): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 once I caught a fish alive.
              6, 7, 8, 9, 10 then I let him go again.
              Why did you let him go?
              Because he bit my finger so.
              Which finger did he bite?
              This one on the left.

Lily: see, I told you the zebra skirt was a good idea. It goes with everything.

Lily: I would take good care of a puppy, if I got one.
Emma: well, maybe we should get something else to practice on first. Like a plant. If we take good care of a plant, we will take good care of a puppy.

Kaylee: I ate all of my potato tots!

Me: hey yo, don't track your dirty shoes all across my house, please. And wash your hands since you were cleaning up dog poop.
Emma: oh yes, well, I didn't step in any!
Me: ...that's good...
Emma: I just touched it a little bit with my hand by accident.

Lily: you look so tan, Momma! Just like cookie dough that just got made.

Kaylee: wow, this is really spicy. I'm NOT in a fan of this.

Emma: this cookie is just melting to town.

Emma: we need really chocolatey chipp-idy pancakes!

29 March 2017

LEK isms 47

Kaylee: Old MacDonald's had a farm...with a moo moo here and a moo moo all over the place.

Emma: Momma, when I was yawning, a hiccup got in the front of it.

[Lily asked the Amazon Echo to tell her a joke, and came to tell us what she'd heard]
Lily: hey, what do you call a camel with no humps?
us: what?
Lily: free humps!
Jesse and me to each other: that's a terrible joke.
:: we looked up the joke to see how it actually went, the answer was "Humphrey."

Lily: why do we have to shut the door when we leave?
Me: so nobody comes in and takes all our stuff.
Emma: well, maybe they don't know which way to turn the door knob.
Me: that's possible.
Emma: ...well then what if they turn it the other way...maybe if it's a little girl that's a bad guy and she couldn't reach the door knob.  Maybe she'd have to kick it.

Me: wow, you girls made a mess down here.
Kaylee: I think it was coyotes.
Me: oh really?
Kaylee: yes, they came in, threw this stuff all over the place and then went home.

Me: Lily, what's the name of the big bald guy in Mulan?
Lily: I think it' I dunno, it sounds like shampoo.
:: it's obviously Chan Po.

Kaylee: I want to go to Coleman's.
Me: I don't think they're home right now.
Kaylee: are they at church?
Me: probably not, but I suppose they might be.
Kaylee: I think they are, and will be home at thirty o'clock.

Emma: can I put a fossil in the water?
Lily: no, that will turn it back into dirt. That's what it's printed out of, when dinosaurs made them.

Lily: MOM. I HAVE to learn goalie this year. Remember when I played soccer and I could use my hands? That was goalie. My teacher told me we have to learn to play it. Like, have to have to, so we're ready for next year!

13 March 2017

Kaylee's 3rd

Only a month late.  But our not-so-little Kaylee is 3!  We were able to have both sets of grandparents come spend time with us for her birthday, and it was so nice to have both Jesse and my parents here at the same time with the kids for a few hours.

At 3, Kaylee is a ball of fire.  She is incredibly clingy to me right now; separation anxiety is incredibly real, and ending in hysterical fits when I leave, even for an hour workout at the gym.  Fortunately, she calms down in about 5 minutes and enjoys herself after that, but she is having an incredibly hard time with me actually leaving, and walking out of the room.  We're dealing with this as patiently as we can.

Kaylee loves her sisters, and loves to play with "our sisters," and to pester them.  She loves to push their buttons, but just as quickly wants to snuggle up with them when they are willing.  When she is in a particularly good mood, she loves to trace the wipe off letter pages we have, and is actually pretty good at staying in the lines.  She wants to do everything her sisters do, and tells me all the time she just wants whatever Lily and Emma have or are doing.  Her fine motor skills are great, in my opinion, and her vocabulary is fantastic.  Whereas her sisters were just now starting full stories (if I recall correctly), Kaylee has been telling us make believe stories and silliness for quite awhile.  She is in the same size clothes as Emma, for the most part, and will likely pass her before Emma knows what has happened.  She continues to be the snuggler, and will glue herself to who I hand her to.  Nearly every Sunday, I get the report back that Kaylee was the teacher's buddy, and was content to sit on available laps the majority of the time. 

We are all looking forward to the warmer days, where she can ride her new scooter on the road with her sisters for sure!  Kaylee also loves to play with her baby dolls, and will come up with elaborate stories by herself, which is highly entertaining to me to watch.

she painted her own nails, and managed to get some on her face...

08 February 2017

LEK isms 46

There has been a lot going on.  But my kiddos continue to make me laugh, so I will share those rays of sunshine.

While I was singing a Christmas song, Kaylee yelled across the room to me,
note: this took place before Christmas.

Me: Lily, the broom is not a toy.
Lily: I know, it's a super weapon!

Lily: after we clean up, let's play goose, goose, duck!

Emma: what's in our throats that makes us talk?
Lily: a voicemail!

Lily: Mom, why didn't you name Emma, Sweet Potato?
(I'm looking at you, Betsy!)

Lily: what does this say?
Me: "you rock."
Lily: I'm not a rock.

Lily: I can't wait to see Fiona tomorrow, we're becoming bff sisters.

Emma: Jupiter is the biggest planet on earth!

Emma: Momma, that movie we're watching?
Me: the Super Bowl?
Emma: yeah, it's boring.

Me: that's the daddy cow.
Emma: how can you tell?
Me: there is no udder.
Kaylee: what's an udder?
Me: where the baby cows get the milk.
Lily: and where we get the milk? From the gutters?