29 September 2010

The Dad's Perspective

Amber asked me to write a post on what I thought of this whole process, so here is my (Jesse, Husband, Dad, etc..) perspective.  During the 9 months leading up to Friday the 24th I didn't really think too much about it.  Yeah, Amber was  Not too much changed, I mean except that Amber waddled and had a hard time getting out of bed to which I was very insensitive and laughed at her more then helping her.  My bad.  It was pretty funny though.

The day of the start of the contractions was a bit hectic and strange.  We went to the hospital at 2am with me trying to convince Amber she didn't need to go.  But she thought she did so we went.   It was a long night, I might have napped a little because nothing was happening except contractions and pain.  Of course it was the worst feeling I've ever had.  I felt useless.  She was in a lot of pain and there was nothing I could do, so I napped. Seemed like a good alternative. 

They sent us home at noon, I went home and napped.  Yay!  Hours pass....tick tock tick tock tick tock.  10pm, Amber rolls off the couch and says "I think my water just broke".  It did.  There was a mess. 

Back at the hospital we knew this time it was for real.  It was worse then the first time because there was more pain, more yelling, and more waiting...the worst part was the wait.  Well I may have napped again because I was tired and I was useless.  I know Amber was glad I was there but I didn't feel like I was doing any good. 

Now the interesting/good part -- the real pushing starts. I didn't sleep through this.  It was the most intense emotions I have ever felt in my entire life.  There were times that I was a little sick at my stomach, times when I was wishing I could take her pain instead, times that I just had to think "This is kind of gross".  So the first time I see baby's head starting to squeeze out I got really excited.  Lots.  I kind of choked up a bit.  When the baby came rocketing out I started to cry a little bit.  I of course wiped them away before anyone saw and regained my composure.  Blood was EVERYWHERE and I didn't care.  I couldn't stop looking at lily and thinking "wow, that whole thing came out of there?"  It was amazing, emotional, seemingly unnatural, but amazing!!

Cutting the cord was no problem.  After seeing all the blood and all the other emotions, cutting the cord was easy.  No problem.  Glad I got to do that!  Changing the first diaper, also no problem.  First diaper I have ever changed ever in my entire life and it was easy enough. 

So my perspective is that I'm glad women have to go through all of that because if a man had to do it there wouldn't ever be a baby born on purpose.  I hated seeing Amber in that much pain, that was one of the hardest parts for me.  Glad I didn't have to do it though.

1 comment:

  1. Jesse I am glad you wrote this, I think more men need to share their feelings! This was wonderful! Way to go Amber for making you write this! :)