[after reading this post, I realize it sounds like we are always telling our children things they can't do and stopping their fun. I promise, that's not always the case: these things just sound funnier after the fact and out of context than other normal and every day things.]
Jesse: ok, Bae, whatever you want.
Me: Bae? What is bae?
Jesse: short for "babe" or "baby?"
Me: I am not a harbor, you can't call me that.
(at which point Jesse was just laughing at me)
Me: seriously, what's with not using full words anymore? I'm not ok with the stupid, half thought out phrases that idiots are using now...I am such a grumpy old lady.
"Lily stop being a diva about your pizza and eat it."
"Emma get the toilet seat out of your mouth!"
"Stop buzzing, you aren't a bee!"
"Emma, surely you can find something else to play with besides the trash can."
Before putting Kaylee to bed, I asked Jesse to help pick up. When I came out of her room, everything I suggested he work on was still undone.
Me: What are you doing?
Jesse: Sitting here.
Jesse: Oh I helped...I cleaned off the counter.
Me: *looks* which one?
Jesse: Oh, well, I ate the cookie that was on that counter...
Jesse: Stop licking my shoe!
Jesse: you two were told to stay in bed.
Lily: but Emma...
Jesse: yepyepyepyepyepyepyepyepyepyepyepyep, stop talking. Now stay in bed. Close your eyes, it's bed time. Emma, close your eyes.
Jesse: how mature was I right then?
Me: so mature I went straight to my blog to write it down.
Jesse: what!? NO!