More ridiculous things we say as parents:
Jesse: no more Legos!
Lily: but why?!
Jesse: because I said..EMMA! Get that out of your mouth!
"Emma, if you want to see, stop playing with your feet."
Me: I'm tired.
Jesse: why, did you get hit by a car?
Jesse holding Kaylee:
"Emma, you're getting kind of wiggly. ...I mean Kaylee. Why do I do that?"
"Emma, stop rubbing chocolate on your feet."
"You can pretty much shake the bedickens out of it."
- yes, "bedickens."
"Babies don't go in the toilet!!"
"You don't get hurt if you don't fall."
Cleaning the basement, Jesse was on a spree of throwing things away:
Me: what are these pictures?
Jesse: trash, just pitch them.
Me: they are our engagement pictures!!!
Jesse: oh yeah? Trash.
Me: we need to get the girls a pygmy goat!
Jesse: great, that's the one that will get eaten by a coyote.
Me: I'll cry. That's the one they will have named Elsa.
Jesse: then they'll just have to "let it go"...