55

Driving in Ohio-
Emma: So corn is the main food people grow here? There is corn for MILES

Emma: West Virginia is really popular, isn't it. Everyone lives there.
Me: I guess?
Emma: Everywhere we go, the West Virginia flag is the biggest.
Me: Well, in West Virginia it is, maybe.
Emma: No, we just passed that place back there and they had a big WV flag.
Me: I doubt that, we're in Michigan, they wouldn't have a West Virginia flag.
Emma: it was! It was a red and white flag with a blue corner with stars.
Me:  ok, that's the US flag, that's for our whole country.
Emma: OOOOOO

Listening to the Sound of Silence-
Kaylee: this is NOT silence. Silence is no one talking.

Me: Kaylee, I think you keep too much stuff. You should get rid of some of this.
Kaylee: what do you mean?
Me: All this stuff, you should get rid of it.
Kaylee: oh I thought you meant my clothes. Nope, I need all this. You have false in your mind.

Emma: why did they used to wrap people in white paper?
I launch into whole explanation about embalming and preserving mummies-
Lily: so what kind of spices did they use to embalm them? Like pepper?

Kaylee: DID YOU ORDER THAT THING FOR MY DOLL?
Me: no, is it your birthday or Christmas? No!
Kaylee: DID YOU TALK TO DADDY AND CAN YOU GET IT FOR ME?
Me: I'm not telling you what I'm getting you for your birthday!
Kaylee: NOOOOOO I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!!

Emma: Luke needs to be more careful in Return of the Jedi: first, he falls in the "ranker" pit, then he almost falls into the sarlac pit. He needs to be more careful.

Emma: pickles are actually cucumbers. When cucumbers die, they turn into pickles.

Lily has to write a paper on a historical person for school this year. I was explaining about the paper to Jesse's parents, and going through a list of examples.
Me: there were lots of people she could have picked. I told her there were female authors, like Jane Austen, or famous scientists, like Marie Curie, and famous queens and Princess Diana..
Lily: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME I COULD HAVE PICKED PRINCESS DIANA.
Me: no, not Wonder Woman, an actual princess from England.
Lily: oh. Ok, never mind.

54

The older the kids get, the funnier they are 😂

Lily: what's the difference between a regular phone and a cell phone?
Jesse: well, these are cell phones, and regular phones are like what we have in the house.
Lily: is that the kind of phone they had way back in the day?
Emma: what did they play games on??

Kaylee: will all the kids from the first practice be at our practice tonight?
Me: Yes, they're on our team.
Kaylee: even that kid that didn't want to play?
Me: Yes, even if he chooses not to play, he's still on our team.
Kaylee: he was awful.

Kaylee: ILOVEYOUANDILIKEYOUANDSMELLMYBREATH
Me: wait what? No!

Kaylee: UGH I'm tired, that's why I'm having a sassy pants.

Kaylee: I know about Adam and Eve, they ate bad fruit. Do you think it was not done raspberries?

Lily: how do I know when to use "hashtag" in a sentence?

Lily: oh look it looks like he just got back from snowing the cloud!
Kaylee: oh yes the snow cloud went by.
(snow plow)

Kaylee, standing on the bathroom scale: look, momma, one foot costs the same height as the other foot.
Me: ... Good?

Emma: season salt..is it an important season like fall or winter?
Me: What do you think?
Emma: I was just playing with you.

Emma: I have a new Minecraft world, it's called Emma excited sign!
Me: Excited sign 😂
Emma: Yes! Like this !

Me: know what would be good?
Emma: a Pixel 3?
Me: ....?
Emma: yes, it has 7 hours of battery life off a 15 minute charge, you should get one.
Me: Well, I certainly agree!

Emma: should I change my last name when I get married?
Me: You can do whatever you want, but you don't have to decide right-
Emma: should I change it to Cookie Queen?
Me: yes absolutely.

Emma: olives are delicious, you with me, Mom?