decluttering my house and brain

For as often as I think about blogging, it's remarkable how little I actually do it.  Because after every little event, I think, "oh, hey, I should write that down,"  And clearly, I don't.

But life moves on, whether I write it down or not, and my girls are growing like crazy, being awesome and we are trying to keep up with the boring and exciting times that we have.

Example, since I last blogged, Lily turned 4; Emma is potty trained (through the day); Kaylee is on the move at lightning fast speeds; we went to Nashville; had visitors; had the house just about turned inside out and a heap of other things.

First, our trip to Nashville.

Jesse and I joke that "all" our friends from college live in Nashville, TN.  While that's not entirely true...we do have a bunch of friends down there, so we figured it was time to be social and go see everyone.  It was a long over due trip and went entirely too fast, but we all had a good time.  Before we left, I told Jesse that I didn't care how many times we had to stop, I wasn't taking the risk of Emma regressing and having her travel in diapers.  Impressively, she made the entire trip both ways without a single accident.  I was shocked, as she hadn't even gone one day here without an accident.    And while it took us a bit (a lot) longer to get there, I think it was worth it, because she's been a rockstar.

Our time there just went too fast, that's all there is to it, and true to my typical form, I barely took a single picture.  Which is really too bad, mostly because Lily and Emma made two new best friends with Addiston and Isabella Miller and they were all precious.  Because that was already a month ago and I'm just now sitting down to write about it, we'll just skip to the hightlights:

• Lily, Emma, Addiston and Bella all playing together.  Even the arguments over whose turn it was with what toy.  Learning to share is hard, especially when there are so many new and exciting toys!
• talking to my friends in person instead of just over the phone!
• a cookout on Saturday and the genius "s'moreo"- yes, brilliance in the shape of two Oreo's and a marshmallow.  
• Sunday was jam packed (for a family of 5) but great: brunch in the morning (thanks for meeting up with us Heather, TJ, Nathan, Whitney, Derek and Tiffany!), a trip out to see Derek and Tiffany's land and future home site, and getting to go on an double date with Jared and Lindsey without kids (what?!).

I feel I do need to expound on the whole "without kids" part.  Lindsey had scheduled with her usual babysitters to come watch a herd of girls so we could go out, and while I was a nervous wreck, it was great.  I never leave Kaylee, and even though she was probably grumpy the entire time, she survived and the babysitters were smiling and alive when we got home, so success.  Apparently, Kaylee did scream for quite awhile at the beginning, and then it was discovered that her hair had gotten wrapped around the button on the back of her shirt!  So badly that they had to actually cut her hair a bit to get it untangled!

 Hilarious!  My baby's first hair cut.  And even though it's one of my favorite shirts of hers, it's going as it is into her baby box...so all of you folks with bald babies jealous of her flowing mane of hair...just go ahead and laugh even harder.

And then we came home and Lily turned 4.  I have a 4 year old.  Unacceptable.

I also decided it was a good thing I am not an overly emotional mom that melts down every year on her child's birthday...because that's just not practical.  Besides, Lily did it plenty for me anyway, so I'm set.  For reasons unknown to me, she decided she didn't want to grow up and wanted to stay 3 forever.  I remember panicking at various points of growing up about turning the next year and not wanting to because I'd never be the same age again.  What a difficult concept for a little child to wrap up in his or her brain, so I tried to explain why this was exciting and tried to get her excited.

We celebrated quietly: Jesse brought her flowers and balloons before we had dinner, cake and gave her presents.

we unburied my wedding dress last weekend and Lily asked to try it on.

At 4, Lily is funny, sweet, caring, but also exploring her independence and what Jesse and I will let her do.  For example, we tell her to do something (go put your books away), she will get this little attitude and say, "no, I'm not going to."  And then we get to have a nice little chat about being respectful and obedient immediately.  We are definitely having fun with this age, and love trying new things with her.  Her imagination is so enjoyable to watch, and how she interacts with her sisters and other kids.  Without a doubt, her favorite imagination game is to play doctor, and will do check ups for anyone who will let her.  Heads up if you ever get a check up from Doctor Lily, everything "looks good," and your blood pressure will always be 20-30.

Emma is chugging along.  She is doing great without diapers, and I can proudly say that because we got ahead on diapers for Kaylee, this month was the first in 4 years that I haven't had a shipment of diapers coming from Amazon.  I had to sit down for awhile when I realized that.

She intentionally makes us laugh, which I love, and she is incredibly sweet and affectionate.  She is very adventurous and independent.  Example, I helped her go down a fireman pole one time at the park and then got distracted with the other two and looked back and she was zipping down by herself like a pro.  I do need an extra set of eyes I can devote to her.  All of the wonderful sides help balance out her meltdown point and temper, because when she's mad, the entire world knows.  Or at least our neighbors.  Emma has decided to be done with naps, and she's handling that like a champ, but some days naps are required.  Her vocabulary is growing and some of the things she says crack me up.  Don't worry, she is getting entries in the "Lily isms" posts.  Her current favorite phrase is, "that's weird?" asked like a question, meant like a statement.

Kaylee is 8.5 months old and is just a joy.  Such a sweet little thing that makes everyone smile who holds her because she doesn't typically care who is holding her.  Lily and Emma always put up a fuss when I would pass them off to my friends and family until they really got to know the other people, but Kaylee just gives them a good hard stare, looks to see where I am and goes on with life.  She's a mover, no surprise there, and loves to babble and sing.  She's been doing the army crawl thing for a few months now and this weekend started giving the hands and knees variety a shot.  She will tentatively cruise around, holding onto furniture and has attempted standing by herself on occasion recently, but not too interested in that.  Yesterday morning, her first tooth popped through, which I'm happy about since she's been grumpy enough I'd expect an entire mouthful.  Ok, she really hasn't been that bad, but I really dislike it when babies are teething and no teeth show up.  That's just not fair.

Kaylee is still a pretty good sleeper, though she doesn't sleep through the night yet.  I'm positive she's old enough, and I'm certain she has enough nutrients through the day to last her all night, but I'm not too worried about it.  Obviously I would prefer that she sleep through the night, but it's kind of handy because after I settle her down, I just go check in on Lily and Emma and do bathroom runs at that point, so it's been a disguised blessing that she's still waking up through the night.  She's not a big fan of pureed fruit, but she loves green beans, peas, squash and sweet potato.  She's tried a variety of other things and I'll let her gnaw on apple slices or grapes in a pouch.  And because she has older sisters, she also loves Cheetos and cocoa peanut butter crunch cereal.  Don't judge our food choices, we will admit that we let our girls have terrible snacks on occasion.

Jesse and I are doing great.  This month has been a focus on decluttering, organizing and deep cleaning our house.  You know, because who doesn't spring clean in the fall?  All three girls needed bigger clothes, and having to up entire dressers full of clothes for girls so close in age was definitely the most miserable thing I've had to do with three children to date.  Lily had outgrown everything in 3t, but some of the smaller cut stuff could be washed and put directly into Emma's drawer.  Emma was bursting out of everything 18-24 month and has to be in solid 2-3t clothes.  Kaylee...our little chunk...is in 12-18 month clothes, so a handful of the 18 month things could go straight from Emma's drawer to Kaylee's.  This took me all week to accomplish and only got it done because I made Jesse help on the weekend, but it was a huge ordeal for me: find the appropriate size clothes in the attic and send them to the wash.  Empty 3 dressers of clothes, and as clothes came out of the wash, box up/hand me down to the next kid or for the next kid and figure out which dresser the new clothes go into.  Nightmare.  Overall though, our house is looking a bunch better!

And since I've now been working on this post for a week and keep adding/changing everything about it, I should probably call it good enough for this round.

Lily isms 25

Lily
"I am NOT impressed."

Lily: are you pumping milk for baby Kaylee?
Me: yes, I am.
Lily: oh. Well, I'm drinking milk in my cup, you know!"

(Note- playing make believe:)
"I am very brave in the fire. I didn't get burned because I have sunscreen on."

"Momma, I'm having issues here."

"Did the caterpillar go in her raccoon?"

(Lily was a little hoarse:)
"The sniffles are making me be very quiet."

"I really have the cough-es!"

"Oh so that's how you do that. I never knew how to do that when I was you yesterday!"

Lily: where are we going?
Me: to our friend's house?
Lily: oh, what shape are their windows?

Lily: where's Daddy going?
Me: to shut the door.
Lily: *heavy sigh* for goodness.

Lily: can I take my favorite stuffed animal to bed?
Me: yes, what is it?
Lily: a zebra!
Me: we don't have any zebra stuffed animals.
Lily: oh.  How about a howler monkey?!

Emma:
"I like triangles."

Emma: poop!
Me: Emma, did you step in poop?
Emma: yeah, little bit.

Emma: where Lily?
Me: I'm not sure .
Emma: I ate her.
Me: what?
Emma: I ate her!

"Here's them! I carrying my pants."

[insert creative title]

The girls seem to have bounced back fairly well from our adventures earlier in the month.  I, on the other hand, still feel like I'm dragging and behind on everything.  While I get a semi defeated feeling when I rewrite the day's and week's to do lists with the same goals from the previous day/week, I am slowly making progress.  It took me all week, but I actually did get all the laundry caught up from our trip.  While Jesse did keep everything in shape while I was gone- so I could come home to a clean house and no dishes in the sink!- I had hidden (in the normal "hiding" spot) a few loads worth of laundry that needed done, so catching up on all the wash was an all week process.  But.  I didn't have to wash dishes and the house was clean so I had space to destroy it when I unpacked.  Perfect.

I think it's been awhile since I did a status update on these three little goofballs we are raising.

Lily is great and getting so big.  She's (of course) brilliant and absorbing information like a sponge.  I have recently realized that she needs something else occasionally, and it isn't that she's being bad or difficult, she just has way more energy than I do.  Additionally, she and I are still trying to figure out an appropriate level of rough and tumble with her little sisters.  One of her favorite pastimes is rolling around on the floor with Kaylee, and hauling her up into a seated position or dragging her up onto her lap.  While Kaylee is just giggling wildly, this makes me incredibly nervous at times with how "rough" she is being.  But then I see the smile and hear the giggles and try and relax..it isn't always easy finding the balance of what's ok and what is a bit too much before the tears.  Lily and Emma are inseparable, as much as they drive each other nuts some times.  Lily will pretend to be so upset and declare she doesn't like Emma, but then 2 minutes later, be sad Emma isn't playing with her.  Yesterday, when Emma was napping, Lily asked for some blueberries.  While I was getting her a small bowlful, she asked me to please leave enough to make sure Emma would be able to have some after her nap.  

Emma is hilarious.  She is so spunky and going to be the life of the party here.  Selfishly, it makes me so incredibly happy that she looks like me and a little nervous that she is starting to take after me.  I will tell Jesse something she has done during the day and he will just laugh and say, "she is exactly you."  Or I will mention to a family member one of her antics and they just laugh and comment the same thing.  While she is sweet and sensitive, she also definitely has a quick temper.  That just can't come from me...

Anyway, sweet side: she has recently started to really love Kaylee.  She can now say her name and refers to her as Kaylee, instead of "Baby."  She gets so sad when Kaylee cries and wants to make sure I'm doing everything I can to comfort her, and will suggest if I need to feed Kaylee or she wants to wiggle on the floor.  Emma is always trying to help feed her when we do solids at dinner, and last night, when I didn't get upstairs fast enough to take care of crying Kaylee, Emma started screaming hysterically to get my attention and when I showed up, she said "Kaylee crying," and calmed right down when I put her back in bed.  One adventure that is new is sleepwalking.  It took awhile for us to realize that's what was going on, and if it wasn't right in the middle of the night for about an hour, I'd be more amused.  One night, on one trip out of their room, she got out of her bed and just stood in the hall.  I went to pick her up and put her back in bed and her eyes were tightly shut and she was just standing and swaying.  Another night, I met her outside her door and when I touched her to guide her back to bed, she just laid down on the floor in the hallway.  The funniest was when I heard Kaylee crying one night, so I got up to check on her and saw the girls' door was open.  I went in to check on Emma and her bed was empty, which is pretty unnerving at 2 in the morning.  I looked around quickly and then just quietly called her name, which woke her up enough to make her cry and get up from the little ball she'd been sleeping in right next to my side of  the bed.  I'm surprised I didn't step on her, but I thought it was the dog.

Kaylee is a champ.  Last night, as we were getting the big girls in jams, Jesse left Kaylee in the middle of the living room to help and said, "she is the calmest and best baby."  We went about our business and when I got up because I heard Kaylee squeaking, found her right outside the girls' room with a big smile because she'd found us.  I have had to start gating off the basement steps again and keeping the bathroom door shut because the kiddo is on the move.  And fast.  You can just see it in her eyes that she's so proud of herself when she finds me in another room.  At her 6 and a half month appointment, she was 22 pounds, 3 ounces, and 27ish inches long.  She is fully in 9 month clothes and has been for awhile, though some onesies and things she can still squeeze into the straight 6 month stuff.  Our doctor thinks that she will be hitting her milestones early, which isn't that surprising since she's such a big girl and has two older sisters to show her how to do things.  Regardless, she is sitting up and sitting herself up by herself, army crawling all over the house, and trying hard to like solid foods.  We've done sweet potato, squash, green beans and carrots, which she loves, and detests/refuses any cereal and peaches.  She grabs at anything she can if she's on my lap during a meal, but when I hand her things or put something like those little baby puffs in front of her, she isn't interested in getting it to her mouth.  She had been getting up quite a bit at night, but must have been bulking up (hah) for a growth spurt (hah), leveling out of a small one or has teeth moving around because this week she has done better at night and worse during the day.  She still sleeps great and easier than the other two, but she has been fighting sleep more.  Eh.  Babies are always changing and just when you think you've established a routine or all hope is lost, they switch it up on you.

Side note, has anyone else noticed with babies, there are only two feelings- black or white, no grey- about routines and figuring them out?  It's either "YAY I KNOW HER ROUTINE" or "I'm going to die, all hope is lost, I don't know what to do."  At least for me, I've never found a middle of the road there.

just a typical morning

one more shot at nice pictures

if this is an indication of what's coming...they just crack me up.  Kaylee is eating a leaf, and the faces the other two are just ridiculous.  this is my life.

we also were cool and filled a big tub full of water.  they thought this was the best thing ever. 

Lily isms 24

Lily: Momma, I'm hungry!
Me: ok, what would you like for breakfast?
Lily: Uhm...macaroni and cheese!
Me: ....Ok....
Lily: with brown sugar!

While in Findlay, coloring chalk with my mom, Emma scribbled over a stick family my mom had drawn:
"Emma, no! You're messing up my whole life!

Driving home from Findlay, we passed an Amish family in a buggy. Lily asked what they were doing and what the horse was pulling, so I explained. After we saw another one:
"that pard-in-er man is sitting in the buggy and the horse was pulling him!"
(note: pardiner=partner=cowboy. like, "howdy partner!")

"Emma, don't pick that (scab)! You bleed all day morning!"

"oh for goodness. Oh for goodness, again! "

"Momma, I want to be Diana (Wonder Woman). I need her rope. And her hair!"

"when I was a baby, did I have teeth and foots?"

"But Momma, I need one more piece of drink!"

" oh, this is a big bite (of ice cream). I'll get a freeze cold."
-she was going for brain freeze.

we tried.

Sometimes, I actually like to pretend that I'm organized and together enough to try and take nicer pictures.  Not really nice or professional pictures by any means, but something a bit more planned than, "oh, that's cute *click*" or "I should take a picture of this."  The girls were in great moods on Sunday, so we took a few then and it was mainly a bunch of giggles.  I tried again yesterday, with the help of one of my  neighbors, and Lily was so grumpy and tired it was a mess.  Oh well.  I enjoy the silly pictures as well as the passable ones.  I have no idea how professional photographers keep the interest and attention of three little girls while taking great pictures, so until someone shares that with me, I'll be content with the cute candids I can take.

Lily looks so much like me here.

see?  also, whoa.

Anyway.

I can't believe how alike they all look here.

Emma has this smolder look down to an art.

I don't know, Lily suddenly likes sticking her tongue out.

"Lily, smile!"

eh. whatever.

Maybe they will all cooperate for pictures when I actually catch up on the laundry.  

...several years down the road.

#hildebrandgirltrip

On Saturday, August 2, my little troopers and I took off on a midwest tour.  In the course of 11 days, we were in 4 states with 24 hours worth of driving, covering 1,498 miles (plus some), multiple tanks of gas, who knows how many bathroom/nursing stops and I should have just had a coffee IV hooked up the entire time.  We are of course thrilled to be home, but I'm so glad we were able to go on our adventure and participate in all we did.

You likely were able to keep track of us via Instagram and Facebook- thank you social media- but a quick summary of what we thought would be happening:

August 4- baby niece due to arrive to Matt and Erin in northern Michigan

August 7- baby nephew due to arrive to Richard and Jessica in Fishers, IN (near Indianapolis)

August 9- wedding of Emily and Matthew in Indianapolis, IN

August 13- scheduled departure date to head home to WV.

So what really happened?  I'm glad you decided to read on to find out.  Let's be honest, you want to know the amounts of crazy and stress I went through, doing this absurd trip by myself with 3 little girls, 3 and under.

Jess decided to go ahead and get the party started early and had my nephew on 7/31!  Little Cameron Alan Wayman weighed in at a decent 8 pounds, 13 ounces and (I think) 21 inches long!  He's of course adorable, just like his favorite auntie (sorry Hannah, I called dibs first on this title), and my first thought when I saw his picture was "he's so skinny!"  He isn't of course, he's a healthy little guy and from what I gather, Jessica and Richard are adjusting to the joys of parenthood and already dreaming of how soon they can hope for him to sleep through the night.

The girls and I didn't arrive to Findlay until a few days later, and spent some time with my dad and grandmother adjusting to being in a new place.  Mom had darted off as soon as she heard we were coming (KIDDING, she went to go meet her first grandson!), so the girls and I kept the house nice and noisy for Dad and Mama until she came home on Wednesday.  Feel free to get some paper and take notes with a timeline to keep track of how crazy we were.

my parents got some great swings for the girls!

We went a little bit north to Toledo to see Jesse's cousin's family on Tuesday for an entirely too short dinner visit.  Unfortunately, bedtimes rule and we had to leave so I could get my little munchkins to bed.  We had a nice visit with Rick, Nikki, Noah, Bri and "Avocado" the dog, who's real name is Dakota.  Lily gave a valiant effort at remembering her name.  Lily and Emma always look forward to seeing Brennan's, and were so excited to be able to spend some time with them, as short of a time as it was, and I always enjoy getting a chance to talk to Nikki and Rick.

Mom came home on Wednesday, and we gave her no sympathy for being tired, as Lily and Emma zapped her remaining energy in no time flat.

All this time, we were waiting with bated breath for the announcement from Erin that she was in labor, ready to bring another beautiful girl to the world, so my days were very on edge and excited.  And a pathetic attempt to not harass poor Erin for minute by minute details of her life and obsess over when my niece would arrive.  Sorry, Erin.

Friday finally showed up and the girls and I loaded up for a jaunt to Indy to meet Cameron.  Lily was in heaven with getting to hold a baby, and of course wanted to hold him the entire time.  Not only was there a baby to love on, Uncle Richard and Aunt Jess had a playground right across the street from their house and Lily and Emma were over joyed.  They got a break from Momma and Momma got a slight breather when Uncle Richard and Aunt Jess took the girls to play.  It was glorious, in case you were wondering.

Saturday morning, I was able to convince my sister and brother in law that doughnuts were a necessity, so we trekked off to what turned out to be the most popular doughnut shop in the world.  Not really, but it sure was busy.  Of course, it was smack bang in the middle of a race, football games and a farmer's market...

We got back to Wayman's house in time to have a bite for lunch with Mom and Dad, who had come for the wedding, before Megan and Jordan showed up to meet little Cameron!  When the time came, we headed off to Emily and Matthew's wedding!  Due to navigational error, we arrived a little late, but we arrived and were able to witness a beautiful ceremony.  

Emma went with my parents, so Lily and I had a heartfelt and emotional conversation in the car about what it meant to get married.  Poor thing had an absolute meltdown when she found out that she wouldn't be getting married that day and that it was my friend Emily's turn.  Lily was just sure that it should be her turn and didn't want to wait.  I may have done a bad job explaining what was happening in there, but I think I got across to her what the bottom line was.  She was very concerned we wouldn't know which one was Emily, and she loved the idea that Emily would be in the beautiful dress.  Then, Lily started crying and made me tear up because she was really worried that since she wasn't big enough, she wouldn't be able to make the long walk down the aisle, and wanted to make sure that I would be there to hold her hand and help her walk when she couldn't.  I, of course, took off with that thought and about holding her hand through life and helping my little girl grow up.  And really, I'm just not ready to think about my little 3 year old gem being old enough to get married!  Needless to say, I was a mess already when we made it to the ceremony and the waterworks were strong when I watched Emily marry her best friend.

deep breath.  I'm ok.  The reception was lovely and I'm so thankful that I had an aunt, an uncle, a grandma, a grandpa, Megan and Jordan to help me with my girls because they were just everywhere.  Lily loved the dance floor and was just enthralled with the whole thing.  I wish we could have stayed longer because after watching Emily and Matthew's first dance, Lily was begging to have a special dance with Emily.  Emma just did her typical Emma thing and fortunately for me, Megan is quick and at one point asked, "do you want me to go get Emma?" who had decided to wander off after my dad and was halfway across the reception hall.  Forget having enough hands for 3 girls, I'd like a second set of eyes.  And a quicker brain. 

 We drove back to Findlay that night, arriving after midnight, and crashed hard. don't remember Sunday, no surprise, except that Joel and Kimmy were there for a bit and we went for breakfast at Cracker Barrel.  They had been up to Michigan to another wedding of a friend we knew from dancing.  We were glad to be able to see them, even briefly, on Sunday, and Emma and Uncle Joel watched some hot air balloons from Findlay's balloon festival fly around.

Monday was a bit more relaxing.  I was trying hard to not pester Erin at this point, but I reorganized and repacked the van to be ready for anything.

On Tuesday, after a restless night for Kaylee and me, Mom suggested that I just see if Matt and Erin would be available for me to just drive up and see them for a little bit, and so I could also deliver some boxes of clothes I had for them.  I thought that sounded good and text Erin to see if she'd be available for a short visit.  Let me tell you, if I labored like she did, I'd have a bunch more kids.  I got a "oh, I might be in labor, but sure!" response (basically), so off Kaylee and I went, with Lily and Emma staying with Mimi.  When I was about an hour away from the hospital, I got a happy text from Matt announcing that Anna Jade had finally decided to show up to the party and was a tiny little 7 pound, 1 oz girl.  I was able to spend a bit of time with the happy family and cuddle my nieces before turning around and going back to Findlay.  What a long day, but so worth it.  Anna is by far the smallest baby I have ever held.  

Anna and Koleen

We got up and headed home Wednesday morning.  The girls were absolutely exhausted from all our traveling and fun, so they slept off and on the majority of the morning and we made it to a pitstop at Grandma and Grandpa Hildebrand's house around 1 for some some bathroom/diapering/feeding/wiggle time.  Lily and Emma had a great time playing with Grandpa and Kaylee was thrilled to be free for a couple hours before we finally made for the final push to get home, which happened around 5.

A huge sigh of relief, an early night sleep and all was well.  We were all very excited to see Jesse when he got home from work, and even more excited that he had decided to surprise us (me) with a cookie cake!  Best day ever.  I was nice and shared with everyone, for those of you who were wondering.  Have I ever explained the importance of a cookie cake to me?  Someone remind me another time and I will.

I really enjoyed our trip, as hard as it was.  While I had a ton of help, which I'm really grateful for, it's difficult to relax as a mom.  Even when other people are watching your kids, you still have a paranoid concern and eye out to make sure they are behaving, cooperating, doing ok, not getting hurt, not fighting, eating their vegetables, not having accidents...the list is endless.  There is no such thing as "relax" if your kids are around, at least so far in my parenting venture.

I hope everyone enjoyed the pictures I posted...and if not, too bad.  I wanted to document to remember our busy and exciting trip.  We are happy to have gone, happy to be home, and I will be happier still when the laundry is done and everything is put away!  Ah, returning home from trips and finding your routine again...

happy to be home

Sorry for all the cell phone pictures, I didn't always have my camera handy or fast enough, so I threw some cell pictures in also.  Please try and forgive me.